You’re A Grown-Up; No Permission Needed

What is it that makes us feel the need to defend our decisions to everyone? We all do it to some extent. We feel as though we need permission or justification to do what we want.

“I had dessert. I don’t usually, but it was my birthday.” (You’re allowed to have dessert whenever you want.)
“We bought the new truck. It was so expensive but will be really sensible in the winter.” (Your budget is your business.)
“I didn’t make it to the gym this morning. I was just so tired and busy and the kids and working late and and and…” (You have permission to choose your priorities.)

The problem is, it severely cramps our style when we are constantly wanting others to endorse our choices. It is a tragedy when we allow what others think to influence the Big Stuff… careers, relationships, health, religion, etc. Think about it. How many things have you NOT DONE because your mom/boss/pastor/trainer/spouse/bff/anyone else might condemn you for it?

Look around. The most miserable people are those not living up to their full potential. That is, those holding back from doing what they really really really want to do. It’s as if they’re waiting for a handwritten petition from the President, signed by Everyone, saying “Please, by all means, go ahead and [write that song/start that business/end that relationship]! We beg you!”

…Not gonna happen.

Here is something that always brings me INSTANT PEACE when I remember it: 1/3 of the people will love your choices, 1/3 will hate your choices, and 1/3 won’t give a shit about your choices. (From James Altucher.) Remember, this applies whether you are sitting in church singing hymns with a friggin’ halo floating over your head… or Eminem. The Third Third Third Theory. (<–If you say that out loud it sounds like a speech impediment.)

Something to ponder: Perhaps we’re going about this backwards. Often, we 1) pick a group of people we want to please, then 2) make life choices based on their approval.

Why not, instead… 1) make whatever the hell choices we want, thennnn 2) wait for the group that agrees with us to just… show up? A perfect sorting system, guaranteed to bring like minds together. Imagine… living life on your terms AND hanging out with super cool awesome people who love you for YOU!

So, go ahead…

E-mail your wedding invites. Sing at the top of your lungs. Rap at the top of your lungs. Show off your legs. Change jobs. Start your own business. Keep the job you have. Skip a workout. Do an extra workout. Break it off. Stay together. Tell your kids no. Tell your kids yes. Throw that party. Invite whomever you want. Take a mental health day. Be loud. Be quiet. Write a blog. Eat the peanut butter. You don’t need anyone’s permission!