“Every time I see a striped shirt I think of you Kristen,” said one of my friends.
Me: “Uh… why?”
Her: “Because you always wear striped shirts!”
Me: “I do?”
Her (looking at me funny): “Ummm… yeah, you do.”
Me: “Oh. Huh!” *looks down, notices self wearing striped shirt*
Ok, besides looking super awesome, stripes are pretty benign. As far as I know, wearing them repeatedly is not a pattern that can make or break our happiness. Buuuuuut…. you know I love analogies…. so….. are there patterns of behavior that have a way bigger effect on us?
Patterns such as these? ↓
- Dating the same person over and over in different bodies.
- Frustration at work no matter what job you have.
- Having the same argument with your significant other time and time again.
- Constantly feeling used and abused by family/friends.
- Losing and gaining the same ten pounds repeatedly.
^^I bet you could add plenty more to the list, right?
See, I believe the recurring themes in our lives- especially the uncomfortable ones- are there to educate us. They are not random. When patterns show up, it is because we are doing something (consciously or unconsciously) to invite them into our lives.
“I am just over here minding my own business and these shallow, narcissistic d-bags just keep showing up on my doorstep!” [Maybe stop answering the door?]
“I always have to fix everybody’s problems for them!” [Perhaps quit making yourself available to everyone at the drop of a hat?]
“I always end up dating the crazy girls!” [May I suggest evaluating the type of woman you pursue?]
“These last ten pounds will not come off, no matter how hard I try!” [Could it be time to talk sustainable nutrition/exercise plans?]
“You just can’t find good help these days. None of my employees ever work out.” [A clue to investigate your hiring/training/management system?]
“I have had a headache every day for the past three months and I have no idea why!” [Let’s think about hydration, stress, sleep, tension…?]
It’s easy to slip into the victim role. But it sucks to be there. Power = Gone. I recommend taking responsibility for your discomfort. You will be a much more powerful creature when you grab the reins.
- Observe and then pinpoint the recurring themes in your life.
- Recognize that you are the common denominator. (Which is actually really great! – Because that means your fate isn’t in anybody’s hands but your own.)
- Start making changes buddy.
Remember my favorite message: YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM. You get to choose your clothes, your beliefs, your relationships, your career, your habits.
Me saying, “I just don’t know why I always attract assholes!” is about the same amount of ridiculous as me saying, “I just don’t understand why I keep wearing stripes!”
*flick* You bought them and put them in your closet, you big goofball.