My Crystal Ball Sucks (Blogaversary Post)

Announce to your friends/family/houseplant that you are going to do something (quit your job, start working out, move away, learn a concerto, go back to school, start a business, travel the world, write a book, sing Rolling In the Deep at karaoke night) and the reactions will be varied:

“That’s a cute dream honey.  Hope it works out for you.”

“Welp, you’re either brave or stupid!”

“Oh that’s WONDERFUL!  You’re so amazing!  C’mere and gimme a high five!”

“Uhhh… how you gonna make money doing that?”

“Pssh.  Must be nice to have that kind of time.  Lucky.”

Make the same announcement to yourSELF and you can count on equally varied reactions:

[says to mirror:]

“YES.  Let’s fucking do this.”

“Ohhhhh shitshitshitshitshit I take it back I don’t wanna do it anymore!”

“BEST decision I ever made!”

“WORST decision I ever made!”

“Am I brave?  Am I stupid?  I don’t even know – I’m just gonna have some peanut butter and hide under this blanket.”

We’re all (you + me + everyone else) a little bit clueless about what will happen when you go with your gut. 

We don’t know whether you will be successful or not.  We don’t know if you are insane or a genius.  We don’t know if you’re following your heart or other humans.  We don’t know if you’ll make money or lose money.  We don’t know if people will agree or disagree.  We don’t know if it will go down smooth or burn like hell.  We don’t know if spectators will throw flowers or tomatoes at you.  We just don’t know.

Take this blog for example. When I started it, I couldn’t articulate exactly why.  In fact, I could see lots of reasons NOT to do it.  The only reason I had to DO it was that I wanted to.  I didn’t foresee that putting words to my thoughts would cause me to

get the crazy idea for my first event or

look at life through a whole new set of goggles or

start wading through all my own shit or

connect with people all over the planet or

realize how quick I am to blame others or

see that there are no bad humans

 (Clearly you interact with me at your own risk.  If our paths cross, you’re fair game for overanalysis.)

I have moments of apathy.  Moments of stress.  Moments of fear.  Moments of doubt.  Moments of annoyance.  But they are just moments, and as all moments do, they pass.  And then I’m left with this …thing… that I’ve created, that I love, that I’m excited about, and that I’m sure as hell glad I started even though I couldn’t predict its trajectory.

IMG_5220
Sept. 2014. This is what it looks like when my gut talks to me.

So, regarding uncertainty:  Unless you have a crystal ball that works way better than mine, there is no way to be sure of how things will turn out when those sparks catch fire.  But guess what?  YOU CAN HANDLE WHATEVER HAPPENS LIKE A BOSS.  Don’t get too attached to how things “should” end up.  Work hard, be kind, and stick with your gut, regardless of what people (you included) say.  Usually, reality turns out much better than you ever could have mapped out in your iCal anyway.  ❤️

 

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